The Kid Is Trying To Kill Me With Embarrassment

OK, like I said in my last post, Nolan is toilet training.  This is just one of his embarrassing moments.

Nolan had an accident (the third or fourth of the afternoon) and I was debating just putting him in a diaper and being done with it.  I had removed his wet shorts and he was running around bare-assed because he refused to go upstairs to get a clean pair of undies or a diaper.  Any way, he was running around bare-assed when someone knocked at the door.  I thought it might be a day home client's Mom so I ran to the door with half naked Nolan right on my heels.  I saw it was the charity Plan (fostering children in Africa).  I went outside and shut the front door in the hopes that Nolan would stay inside and not flash the neighbourhood.  Didn't quite happen the way I planned.

Mr. Naked Bum finally decided to open the door and come outside to be with me.  I picked him up trying to cut down on the amount of people seeing his tally-whacker hanging in the breezes and swung him onto my hip with my hand trying to cover his tush with my hand.  He looks up at me with a crazy, scheming grin and says, "You feel my nuts on you Mom!"  I almost dropped him as I doubled over howling in laughter.  The two guys from Plan stood there briefly dumbfounded before cracking up too.  The one doing all the talking finally said, "That has just made my day!"  I just stood there wishing the porch would open up and swallow me whole.

Now, how do I teach a 4 year old to filter?

Toilet Trouble

Nolan is 4 now.  A 4 year old, thumb sucking, Gankie (blankie) loving, long haired hippie freak, hockey goon resembling, diaper wearer.  He has, up to this point, had absolutely no interest in toilet training.  No amount of bribes, pleading, begging, or shaming has made any difference to him.  He has been quite content to mess in his pants and carry on with his day.  He'd sit in his own mess all day if I'd let him.  I tried letting him sit in it and hoped it would be uncomfortable and make him WANT to get rid of it and no, he wasn't bothered at all.  He's stubborn and dug in his heels and has fought the toilet this whole time.

Finally, mid to late last week the idea that he can't get a bike or go to school because he still wears a diaper clicked.  He has insisted on wearing underwear ever since.  The first day was pretty good.  Only one accident.  Unfortunately, it has gone down hill from there.  Each day there are more accidents and more "I sorry Mom!"  It still isn't making him use the damn toilet without me nagging.

Today he must have sensed my frustration (or heard my threats of putting him back in a diaper and putting him in bed for a nap like a baby) because as I was walking downstairs after putting the day home baby down for a nap, Nolan greeted me with wet shorts and a cloth.  He told me that he had peed and wiped it up himself.  Smart kid?  Helpful kid?  Embarrassed kid?  Kid with a good sense of self-preservation because I'm ready to tie a knot in his willie and be done with it?  Who knows, I'm just happy he cleaned it up himself.